When Lost, Reflect Life

Not a lot has been going on in my life, leaving me wondering what to write about day in and day out. Blogging has helped me tremendously over here in many ways. Not only has it allowed me to express my feelings openly (because I cannot in my work environment), but also because I know that I will be able to reflect better on the situations and emotions I have faced here during my tour by reading about them years from now.

"When life throws you lemons, make lemonade."

This lemonade wouldn't taste very good. No ice, and no sugar, it's probably going to be sour. I really hate that saying more and more. I think about it, and it's trying to be positive. Make you see the lighter side that you can make the best out of what you're given. I don't really believe in that. In some cases, like the one I'm in you have no choice but to be pelted to death with lemons, and you do make lemonade because what the hell else are you going to do? Even this situation isn't forever, so the idea that you are only thrown one option and do the best you can with it, is somewhat futile. It throws you down one path, with only an outcome of this is the best you're going to make out of it, so good luck.

When life throws me lemons, I'm going to throw them back, and go get some orange juice.

Even in the depressed state I'm in, mostly due to the fact that I'm in a very frustrating situation with little to no control, I've realized how despite this year of suffering and sacrifice, what a wonderful position I'm going to be in, in 90 days. I'm going to be coming home from this deployment, another world of experience and understanding under my belt. My maturity level at an all time high, along with a better understanding of myself and my goals. I'll also have a nice chunk of change in the bank, which during an economic depression could possibly turn into a fortune. I do have a few years left in the military, but it's a paycheck and more experience with the leading of men, so it won't all be bad.

Things are looking really good, in life. Not having gone to college yet, I have tons to look forward to in that respect. Not only bettering myself through education, but also with the new structured GI bill, I won't even have to pay for it. The idea of being a 25 year old freshmen is kind of funny. Perhaps I can finish grad school by 31. But the more and more I look at it, the more I see it as a leg up, and not a leg down. I know what I want to do. I'm not a pimpled nose 18 year old with no life experience who's going to roll through college while going through the motions with a lack of maturity and respect for what task is at hand. I know what I want to do. I have direction and purpose, giving college even more of a purpose to me, then just going to go. Most people don't find out what they want to do till they have already been in college a few years, switched majors a thousand times, and realized after graduating that the major they picked isn't going to take them where they wanted to go. I now have that advantage.

Joining the military, you have time taken away from you. Family is simply non existent except for a few days a year, phone calls and email. Even your health can degrade over a career in the military. Jumping out of planes and running on asphalt is not exactly the best thing for your knees or back. But with all those sacrifices comes good. I've learned a lot about myself, something my friends have seemingly yet to do. I've interacted with people from all over the United States, all over the World, and have been blessed with learning that not everyone is a Frappuccino and Yoga class away from their break in the biz. So with this sacrifice of time, friend, family, and even possibly my health, I've learned about myself and others giving me a better understanding of the world that I live in, and my reward is free college and some money in the bank. Not too bad.

Life has thrown me lemons, but I'm still not going drink the lemonade. I've always liked Kool-Aid better anyways.


Life is the journey you make, not the destination you're given