Thursday, February 24, 2011

I See Your Free Speech and Raise, Concern

I am by no means a war monger or even for that matter condone such a horrible act of humanity. After experiencing war, combat, I certainly can say that our world would be a better place without it. Unfortunately, though we as civilized America's may believe this truth, our world has yet to believe it too. It's a sad fact that we can't all just get along, but a very real and true one. I'm an advocate for world peace, but a bigger one for protecting the freedoms we have to believe so.

Watching a video posted on a facebook page, downloaded from youtube and originally aired on Jon Stewart's the Daily Show, which has always seemed to be very liberal in it's slight and comedy aspects, I was amazed at the amount of ignorance in our own community. If there's one thing that I hold to be 100% true in life it is that nothing, absolutely nothing with the obvious exception of this, has a definite right or wrong answer. We can argue semantics all day long about whether or not that's the only thing, but it's an exaggerative to make my point. This video was a comical interview and possibly if not likely jaded with the sleight of hand that every television news story has to show the side of the story most entertaining. It was of the Marine Corps recruiting center in Berkeley, California, and the city and the people of the city fighting to get it removed from Berkeley. Although it was very comical, it held a lot of truth that is bitter to the taste about WE Americans.

I have seen both sides of the spectrum and neither is particularly charming and certainly not beautiful. I'm talking the red meat eating, confederate flag having, two front teeth southerner's and the non showering, eat only green, make own clothes and live out of a tree for a year liberal hippies of the northwest and neighboring areas. They both have one great thing in common, and that's ignorance. These interviews made me sick to my stomach to think that these people absolutely without question knew what was right and wrong. That they had no consideration even for the other side of the argument, no consideration for the other human beings. No perspective, and no compassion. The video is right here if you want to view it before you read further... Hippies

The fact of the matter is that life is balance. It's a balance between good and evil, wealth and poor, health and poor health. When you have that with the proverbial black and white, what you get is gray. What we lack perspective on we will always be certain about. The world is flat. What we do not know we will not question. The earth is the center of the universe. We are a fortunate people, we Americans. We don't have to worry about what to eat, where to sleep. These are questions that can be answered with the simple help of the government of good Samaritans, of churches, if not by how most of us answer them; ourselves. We don't have the same worries that other countries do. We are spoiled and have shed blood and tears to be so.

Just take into consideration this; 10 Billion dollars is spent per month in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. That means that over the past nine years that we have been in conflict we've spent $1.1 Trillion. That's about three times the amount we spent in WWII, assuming that my math is correct. But we only spent $360 Billion during that 5 year war. Now in that time, the military numbers ranged from 1.6 million to 8 million personnel. The lowest number is three times larger than the active military today. The entire economy based around the 'war effort.' Milk, gasoline, wood, and other building materials would have been nearly impossible or extremely expensive for the every day American. Even in Vietnam, only $140 billion was spent. That conflict lasted only 7 years, and the size of the military reached 3.5 million. 13% of that was non-volunteer draftees. Even with that dramatic cut off from WWII in size and money spent, there was still a 'war effort,' a restriction of goods to the civilians of the United States. The war was felt, it hit at home even if it was in southwest Asia. Today's military, cutting down on size again, is under 600 thousand in number. Less than a percent of the living population is serving or has served the military. With that small amount of sacrifice and small amount of hit at home, except to those few who have loved ones deployed or the Gold Star families, America has had all the luxury, all the freedoms that they always get.

The point I'm trying to get at is that who cares that there's a recruiting station in your town. Who cares that they are going on school campus and recruiting what will be less than 1% of the population in order to protect the very freedoms that give the right to picket and protest such things! Focus your attention on something more pressing, more rewarding for society. Use the precious and valuable freedoms that we have to do good for America. The semantic part is biting me in the ass here, but the World around us, those who hate us out of their ignorance, out of their envy of what we all have in this country, they are not going to change anytime soon. Of course we can't understand what they would want to hurt us, attack us, kill us, because we have no perspective in what it's like to have to worry day in and day out of how to survive. They have the playground kids mentality that Suzy has what we want, and if we can't have it then she can't either. Our ideas in America, we weren't born with them, weren't given them by God or monkey. We grew to develop them, to learn them, to become civilized, only because we have to the time to care about such things. We are spoiled with that. And it's only because we have protected, fought and died for the right to do so! We don't have a gas ration, a food ration because we've worked so hard not to have those inconveniences in our lives.

So we've spent more money, lost fewer lives, and felt it less at home than any other war in our nations history, and we've nearly done one more thing; lost the right to recruit within our own country. This is your America, we're just dying to keep it that way.



What's at stake? Liberty.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Sunrise Tomorrow, No Sunset Tonight

I'm at both a fabulous and terrifying place in my life. I sit on the dock of the bay of living, awaiting the sunrise of life to form on the horizon. It's dark, and cold, but my nerves sit, shaking. Well, maybe not yet. But the idea is certainly one of some consideration. I'm just over 24 years of age now, and practically have my whole life to look forward to. Not only that, but the experiences that I've already had in my life probably have had a bigger significance in giving me some kind of perspective into life as whole than probably many other 24 year olds.

I sit on the perennial doorstep, and I think to myself, I'm glad that I spelled perennial correctly the first try. I have college not only paid for, but will be paid to go to college. I sit here and can look down at myself, and not only feel comfortable with the image that I present, but also proud of what I've accomplished. I'm not in great shape, or the best shape that I've ever been in, but I am in very good shape, or at least appear to be ;)  I have contacts and networking outside of the military that I will always be able to find a back-up job or sleep on someones couch. So with all this going for me, how can I still be sad?

To me, my internal finger, my compass of fault points most directly towards the freedom that I don't have. I can't call in sick, or quit my job, or show up late. I don't have the very luxury that I'm willing to die for. Maybe I realize to some degree the sacrifice necessary to protect such freedoms, and am willing to put my own liberties aside for that reason. But after 4 years of doing so, I'm ready for a much needed break. A long break.

There is so much that I'm interested in doing with my life, that I know that first step is going to be not only a difficult one to take for many reasons, but I also know that it will be a very critical one. I have a lot of time left in my life, and I know that making a mistake or a miscalculation will only be a minor set back in the road of life. However, with so much that I would like to achieve and do, I know that my time is precious and not worth wasting.

I was inspired to start writing again a few years ago, while I was in Iraq. Amazing that that was already two years ago. My girlfriend Gina at the time, told me to write a blog after one of my friends and colleague was killed. It helped not only with dealing with some of what was going on over there, but helped to make me realize that writing is a passion and something that I'm somewhat decent at. The passion, the true passion isn't putting the words on the paper, or hearing the brain relaxing click and clack of the keys under fingertips, but what I'm truly passionate about: the truth. One thing that I am, and that I hope to always be, and strive to be is real. I try my best at whatever I do, and work hard to constantly improve myself with the idea that I can be the example, the exception, the one who overcomes and flourishes. I dare to be real. I dare to be something.

I'm not at all saying that I am perfect. Far from it. I have the laundry list of mistakes and poor choices, hurt and unrepaired relationships. Selfish decision making that has negatively effected others. But the point of the matter is, that I care. I care about others. I care about myself. I care about the world we live in. Days like today, they challenge me, they wear me down, make me think harder than I normally would like. But at the end of them, there's always a sunrise on the horizon. Some horizons are closer than others. I know I'm starting to rant, but on the drive home, in the shower, cooking dinner, all of this flowed better in my head, sounded better than it does now. It was more put together. That's what my future is all about, writing. Getting it right, not only for myself but to deliver the truth to you. To the uninformed. I have a couple of huge projects, sitting waiting for their horizon, for their sunrise. Keep a steady eye on the horizon. Oh, and make sure you got your sunglasses, because my sunrise is going to be bright.


The greatest love of all is to love ourselves

Monday, February 21, 2011

Cosmic Shame

North Carolina has swung into spring in as near full bloom as non full bloom as you can be. I sit outside, upon the back porch and I let the wind play carelessly with my hair. I need a haircut, but most of you wouldn't know it. I'm in a familiar neighborhood, but for a somewhat unfamiliar reason. It's the first time I've seen some of the neighbor folk who live here nowadays. Change: it's not permanent. But change is.

Walking out of the Super Target earlier, after getting some new skivvy's and I noticed what we all to often don't: my surroundings. I took a step back from being in the center of the universe and looked at the planets, the satellites of people who surrounded not my immediate, or even intermediate life, but my passing one. I don't feel the effect of the economy, don't see the effect in Fayetteville, but Durham; Durham I see the change see the difference, see the way American life shouldn't be.

It was the age of the cashier, the age of the cart jockey in the parking lot, the lady discarding what she had picked out but yet couldn't afford. I expect the parking lot cart jockey to be in high school, or at least fresh out of. The 40 year old man, he could've been a lawyer, a doctor, certainly a business man. But he wasn't, he was in his red top and black pants, pushing a line of carts. The cashier, she could've been my grandmother, should've been retired.

After Target, the New Balance store. Herb, who helped me pick out a good set of trail shoes, he was middle aged. Vermont, New Hampshire, he tells me of these places. Places he lived with his wife and kids. Laid off from his job in marketing to fall into the embraces of management in Harris Teeter, and now using a shoe horn and tying my shoe. It's time for a change. This weather, it's the sign, the change, the hope for Herb, the hope for cart guy. It's the hope for us. We must believe, we must work hard, and if we can simply do that; then we'll pull through. Keep your head up and your hearts open.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

For You in the Wool

I sit here, my mind thumping, the room spinning, and all of the lights way to bright. I wish I were older, more willing to understand what was going on around me. More capable of doing so. I haven't quite grown up all the way and for the first time in my life, feel upset about it. The ideas in my head are not revolutionary but once were. My stomach churns over and over and I get more disgusted, more sickened by the minute. My mind tries it's best to rap it's fingers around the feeble truths that I have known, and they slip away.

This week, the Army pushed me to my limits. It's done it before and I'm quite surprised at my ability to overcome each of it's tests. I'm sometimes too smart for my own good. What I think about on a day to day only infuriates my soul, and makes me question what I stand for, and if I truly stand for it. Or if I'm like every other American who only believes in noble causes, yet doesn't choose to be noble about them.

I was bright eyed and bushy-tailed at this start of this, and am now soured, used up and sick of everything. There isn't too many reasons that I should stay, other than the obvious legal implications constricting me to the very freedoms that I serve to protect. I wish I could believe that facade as much as I used to, or as much as you the general public do now. Thanking this soldier for this, and that soldier for that. The saddest part is how genuine it is, how legitimate the expressions on your face are, how humbling your handshakes can be. It breaks my heart, makes me break down and cry at night. Threatens my very soul. I search terribly hard for a reason to stay, to not be sipping on Pina Colada's in Costa Rica. It wasn't apparent to me until today.

The words were so powerful that I felt my heart beating. Not just in my chest, but in every singular portion of my body. You probably would feel the same way too, but not have all the reference for it. The words were so powerful that I can't even remember how they came out, or in what order they were delivered. All I know is what they meant. "... in my 13 years I've only been thanked once. After taking a guy over there three times, his mother tells me: I knew he would be safe, I knew he was with you and he would come home safe- thank you. And to me, that's what it's all about. That's enough..." how remarkably compelling a statement.

The conversation went on and I realized a few things during it. I don't know if I'll ever be the person to create revolutionary ideas, or even have the depth of thought to be deep enough to really effect or touch people. But I think I have the courage, the audacity to display the message of those that do. To help others to see points to be made, things to feel. I have the power, the ability to tell the story, the American story. In the hopes, the desires to bring us out of our slumps, to return a sense of respect for one another, to help us all understand that until we can feel for one another, until we can love one another, we will only continue down the path of our own destruction. This crusty old veteran shouldn't be here. He should be in the sticks of Louisiana raising his family and being the dad the Army will never let him be. Maybe it's his age, his experience that allows him to see so much, to know so much, to be so much. Rare is it to find, and he only helped strengthen the point in my head, good quality people in the Army anymore. It's turned into such a bullshit political high school prom show that it on a day to day not only makes me sick to my stomach, but embarrasses the hell out of me.

The Constitution of these United States is collecting dust, and either needs to be restored through the people of this democracy, or see a new one written, and to abide by. Our founding fathers, they were not the politicians you see of today. They were men of action, men of courage. Men of honor. The conversation goes deeper and deeper, and my curiosity of why we are here fires questions like smoke out of a freshly started car on a winters day. The information he tells me is that which I'm most fond of hearing about: history. I find history extremely capturing of my own spirit, especially that of our fore-fathers. Those who chose to make the hardest decisions in order to achieve something only dreamt about.


I try and rap my head around what I need to say. The task is daunting, it always will be though, and I have to take the consideration of my own trepidations in moving forward. Of course there will be sacrifice of my time, something that I already give enough of. This time though, it will be for a cause, for an education of both myself and of others. My book sits, it's pages empty, begging me, pleading for me to write upon them. I think of all I need to say, want to say, want to write and it's all clear and concise in the head, and spits through in a flash, but complete. I sit at the computer, and it's too fast in my head, I can't slow it down, can't figure out what to say, how to say it. How to convey enough power, enough sentiment through the words. I think of action instead of words and the idea of revolution or at least renovation consumes me. I think about making brass knuckles with the word freedom written across them and making my mark on the Biebers of the world, want to make them understand what is at stake. Liberty! Liberty! Liberty! We have it, and we are willing to give it up, surrender it. We no longer wish to do what is right, do what we must to preserve our way of life. The saddest part is that our way of life is what's destroying it. We don't realize that people just won't like us, that people won't give us the respect that we all too often give them.

I stop my rant as mid sentence as I can. Focus. Our fore-fathers, the one's who made true sacrifices, our presidents, our public servants of yesteryear; they did things for the good of people. Not for themselves. But for the mothers of those kids who made it home safe. They didn't do it for the pay, for the greed, for the fame. When was the last great president? When was the last great congressman or senator? Probably before America got a taste of money, of capitalism, of socialism. I do a job, a public service, in which I pay myself for (yes, I paid myself one month worth of salary in Federal taxes), and I make just above poverty line worth of money. I never did this for me. I never offered my life up for you, for the defense of this nation for anyone person. I did it for this country, for everyone, for life, liberty and happiness. Sure that's cliche, but fuck you for thinking so! That's what separates us from other countries. Just as for the past 200 plus years, the willingness to sacrifice plenty for it has preserved it, as well as set us apart from any other nation. We don't have public servants at the top of this nation. Far from it. We no longer have the correct understanding of war. We no longer want to do what is necessary to preserve what we have, and essentially, due to our greed, our compassion to make up for every mistake, our need to bridge the gap between majority and minority, we will lose it all.

I think to the American citizen who has no care, no true concern to become a part of what America was founded upon: a country for the people, by the people. We sit back and are getting taken advantage of. Lied to non-stop by greedy politicians who have found an opportune time to make a profit, to gain in the now and squander the future. Not just the future of us, but the future of our kids, and our kids kids. They will never understand the freedoms that we possessed, because they will not have the opportunity to. We will have squandered, will have surrendered it by then. We live for today, and have plundered our futures with the impulse that brings convenience to ourselves and daily life. WE (meaning not the 1% of those who serve the public or the 30% who vote) must take that personal responsibility back, that personal charge to preserve our democracy, our liberty, our freedom!

Ike was right, it starts with the military, but can also end with the military. Think about how much power the military has in shaping our country. The media doesn't help the situation, not showing your sons and husbands dying. They don't bring to light how terrible a war is, and how swiftly we must end them. General MacArthur said it best: "War's very object is victory, not prolonged indecision. In war there is no substitute for victory." MacArthur said it, and Eisenhower warned us. We have become a nation uninformed, unaccountable for our own government, for our own military. We sit there, and watch our soap operas and jersey shore while the greedy politicians who have hidden so well in their sheep skins have blind folded us, used the blood of your loved ones, your brothers, your sons & daughters, husbands and wives, to make money in the here and now. Warmongers, not for democracy, not for a noble cause or to bring justice or even vengeance upon enemies of our sovereign state, but for money, and personal and political gain. Yes we, need a military, yes we need them to be powerful. We need them to be swift with victory, in order to scare our enemies into never attacking, and always fearing their immediate destruction with their unwarranted provocation.

 The questions we need to start asking ourselves, to realize ourselves, is if the greater threat to our country is the foreign one, or the domestic one? Do we need to revolutionize our government? Do we need to take back the power that we have so easily and blindly given up? I don't know where this country will end up. I don't know if keeping within the ideas of our forefathers is the best thing for it, or an entire overhaul of our nation is best. I know few things, but I do know this: We must care. We must stand for something. And most importantly we must be willing to fall for it.

I need to get this right. If there's one thing that I should do right in my life, it's this. Convey this to you, spark the patriotism that we've lost. Recapture the essence of America. Help to reveal the corruptness, the disrepair of our military, of our government. Open eyes of those who care to do nothing to protect the freedoms they have. Be the sheep dog I have to be. The sheep dog you need.