Get Yourself Some Milk Son!

Catch your breath, wipe the sweat off of your brow. Allow the sharp daggers stabbing your throat and lungs to lose their sting. Take the tape off your hands as you read, because this story is only going to take nine minutes and twenty-seven seconds to tell. But it will feel a lot longer.

Prepared

Our most illustrious and motivated LT decided that today we do an exercise that is a standard among cross-fitters, like Lieutenant Dan. For those of you are who unfamiliar with Crossfit, it's a work out style that's gained popularity over the course of the last few years, as it encompasses the entire body during most or all of it's workouts. I'm no subject matter expert on Crossfit, but I understand the basic principals behind it. It's a cardio, endurance, and strength building work out regime that's all inclusive of every muscle group. It's really been adopted by agencies like the Army, Law Enforcement, and the Marines because it's exercises that are practical. Something we find important in our lines of work.

The practicality of it is the best part. It's not quite weightlifting, where you do an isometric movement that focus' one muscle group, making that stronger and more pleasingly bigger. The idea is that you can take the movements, the exercises that you perform during a Crossfit workout and apply them to something that you might do, in our case, out on mission. Like scaling a wall, or lifting an object. So the change comes in what kind of exercises you do. As in a pull-up is no longer just straight up and down, you do more of a 'kipping' motion. Whereas you almost have some kind of full body seizure, swinging back and forth giving you momentum to help you lift your head above the bar. This correlates, because if we were scaling a wall, you don't just do a dead hang pull up to get over it, you use any momentum, legs, chin, anything that can help to give you an advantage to gaining the crest of that object.



There are tons of workouts in Crossfit. They all are made up of a series of different exercises, or Olympic lifts (i.e. Squats, Cleans, Push-presses, etc.). They get your heart rate and blood flowing to every extremity of your body. You can scale these exercises back to allow you complete them if you are not in great shape, or not physically capable to meet the requirements. Certain exercises are renowned due to their difficulty along with their ability to make the cross-fitter feel that they got a good work out. That they might have even met Pukie the Clown, the mascot. There are none that are so well known, or considered more the pinnacle, the standard of Crossfit, than FRAN.

Pukie the Clown


Fran is a terribly difficult workout that is done to a 'best' time standard. It's three rounds of workout, including two different exercises in each round. The first round is 21 repetitions of each exercise, the first being 'Thrusters' and the second being 'Pull-ups.' The second round is the same two exercises, but now at a 15 repetition set. The last and final round is only a 9 rep round of the same two exercises. Concluding that you've done 45 thrusters, and 45 pull-ups. A good time for someone in great shape, who does the daily Crossfit workout, is sub five minutes.

A thruster is a weighted front squat. This is where you have a weighted bar (for Fran it's a total of 95 lbs.), starting across the top of your chest. You squat down to bring your legs past the parallel to where your butt is below your knees, and come up into a standing. At the top of the squat, you do a push-press with the bar, elevating it to where your elbows are at a locked out position. You then bring the weight back down to your chest and repeat the process. After you finish the first set of 21, you move onto your set of 21 pull-ups. The time doesn't stop, and you're pushing as hard as you can.

Thruster, at the bottom

The thrusters are only part of your problem. Even though they work nearly every muscle in your body, specifically your largest ones in the form of your thighs, pull-ups can prove to be a bigger problem. They were for me at least. If you don't have the technique down, a 'kipping' pull-up can be a difficult thing. The swinging back and forth to create a momentum up is not an easy thing to learn in your first time. I did more of a dead hang pull-up, using a lot more energy and strength to finish every repetition.

Straight, suckin'

Although I have heard about everything to do with Crossfit, and even occasionally done it, with guys like Brian Reed, I simply have not bought into it as much as maybe I even want to. This was my first introduction to the exercise known as, Fran.

The first set I blew through during my thrusters. I even slowed myself down a little bit to try and better control my own breathing. The non-ventilated, affectionately named Junkhouse Gym might be some hindrance of exercise. Especially cardio. It's very stuffy, with a lot of dust filling the air. It's also very hot, and due to the lack of air circulation, perspiration is an immediate regardless of any exertion. The pull-ups were the ones that caught me, almost immediately after I started. I tried to figure out the 'kipping' I had halfway learned less than an hour earlier. I couldn't figure it out, and burned a lot of energy doing the 21 pull-ups with pure strength.

At this point, the second set, you're muscels are already burning. You're breathing hard, sweating, and seeing black in the sides of your eyes. It's more of a mental game than anything, because even trying to rest and catch your breath, you never really seem to. I struggled through the second set of both, but found the 'kipping' a little easier. Not because it was anything I was consciously doing, but because you naturally find a rhythm that helps you to overcome the bar with your chin.

The last set is not as tough as the second one, because you can see the finish line. Not only is your LT yelling in your ear that when you get finish you stop the clock, but every burning sensation in your body is begging for you to stop. Asking that it all be over. You're dizzy, sick feeling, and certainly wanting it all to be over. Just nine left. The last set I don't really remember. I remember the voices around me, encouraging me, letting me know that it's almost over. I finish the last pull-up and drop down. My lungs hurt, my legs and arms are asking for forgiveness. My throat coarse as if I had swallowed sandpaper and razor blades. The snot running down the back of it. I'm coughing hard.

The eternity of all of that, only 9:27. It left me winded, and wanting to curl up and die. Pouring water on my head and back, trying to cool off. I've worked out before for hours on end, seeming to never quite exert myself even when pushing my hardest. In this short period, less than ten minutes, I experienced more pain during a workout than I had in a long time. The feeling afterwards, after I realized I wasn't dead, or even going to die, is nothing but a feeling of triumph. Even with my time being somewhere in the middle of the platoons, it is still something I can feel pride for, because it's not easy. I pushed myself hard, and Fran seemed to push me back even harder.

Kirk's hands after Fran

Fran, that bitch, that prescribed 45 thrusters at 95lbs. and 45 pull-ups we write as Rx; she tore open hands, made hearts explode, broke down dreams, and built up goals. Fran, you bitch, you slut, we love you, hate you. But damn it we love you.





Get on the bar! Stop the time, stop the pain!-Delta Four-Six