I May Be Bad, But I'm Perfectly Good At It

I've been on the road for self-improvement, and self discovery. I've been putting off a large amount in my life, finding an easy excuse for why or how or because. I do a lot for myself already, more than I realized I do, and quite a bit for others as well. There is a lot that I do though that is detrimental to myself.

The first decision I've made is to quit drinking. Maybe not forever, but until I'm out of the military. My job has a great amount of stress that is hard for anyone to deal with day in and day out. I joined the service to deploy and take the fight to the enemy. I didn't join to march around and sing cadence about the gerry's and japs. Sure that's not something that a lot of people expect to hear someone say, but it's very true of our generation. We entered the military during a time of war, to vanquish the enemies of the United States in order to hope that our kids, and their kids never have to feel the fingers of terrorism, the fist of fear, the sting of being attacked.

The drinking had been out of control for awhile, but then in control, and then at the point of absurdity. I don't fiend for it. I don't crave for it coming home, don't stop and buy a six pack or twelve, pack, but would kick back a few, not to a point of drunkenness, every night. Then the weekend would hit, and I'd try and race to the bottom of a 24 pack, and usually always win. It got to the point when I was on leave that I never woke up with a hangover after nearly 10 days of straight drinking.

The lingering depression effect that alcohol has on your brain is a force to reckoned with. Anyone who has ever been terribly depressed, or terribly stressed will tell you that it's enough trouble on it's own, let alone with the help of outside influences.

Another thing I have put on the back burner is my education. I bought an SAT prep book and plan on taking it at the beginning of this summer at the latest. I haven't written anything in the correct style in so long that I'm sure I will have to do a lot of introspective writing. And math... let's not even go there. It's been 7 years since I've done an equation higher than second grade level.

It's these small decisions, effort towards self improvement that we must do on a day to day basis in order to not get complacent with our lives, with who we are. Constant improvement is pertinent to being the best that we can be, and strive to be better.


I wish I could buy me a spaceship and fly... past the sky