The start of 2011 has been a very up and down thing already. I had the great excitement of being home for New Years, and the 10 days to follow. Then it was back to work, but not before a somewhat of a u-turn in a close relationship. Well more like a left or right.
I struggled at first, feeling lost and abstract from everything. My heart yearning, pleading, crying for what it truly wanted. With all the stresses of life mounting and me not confronting them, when I finally did the ghosts were hideous and haunting. I began a downward spiral, not understanding why things were happening the way they were. I couldn't help but gravitate toward the negative, with beliefs dis empowering myself to an almost new low.
I picked up a book, that I had skimmed through a few times before, and found the rock that I was looking for, that I've always relied on; myself. Yes, we often times look to others to help us out of situations, but I have always been motivated by you telling me that I can't. Or your belief that I can't achieve. I've always been motivated by my own self to improve, to getter better, to persist until I had conquered what I had set out to do. The book is one introduced to me by my cousin Melinda, called Awaken the Giant Within and it's by the well known Anthony Robbins. It is considered a self-help book, but through the mere 100 pages that I have read in the last three days, it's so much more. It's understanding how we as humans think, how what we do has the effect that it does. The emotions, the beliefs, and the reasons behind them.
Other than learning how to diagnose, understand why we have thoughts that control us, or limit us, or allow us to have great success, this book also teaches you how to empower yourself, how to change the things that you believe. How to make the intellectual, the rational side of you overcome the more powerful emotional, the side we all act upon.
So far I've learned about decisions making. I'm a very astute decision maker, as my job is full of them. I've become very good at making quick and accurate decisions, even if some of the times they end up being wrong, it doesn't hurt my confidence at all because of my level of success. These are decisions though, that really have no effect over my personal being, over myself, but more or less a decision for success of the team, of the unit to succeed. That being said, when it comes to decisions based for me, I'm a little out of practice.
We make decisions based on two basic truths of life, that we either do these things for pleasure, or pain. To avoid pain, we hope. This means that the things we do are for pleasure or because the idea of pain, possible pain, is so great that we choose to avoid it. These ideas, are just merely that, ideas. They can be jaded by our own mind, and our own perception of them. Just as a smoker thinks that a cigarette is a pleasure, because perhaps in the here and now, in the instant gratification it is, but in the long term it's pain. Why I don't smoke: because I associate a great deal of pain by watching my Grandpa suffer from the years he smoked, and watching my Uncle prematurely pass this last summer as a result of his early years of life smoking. There is so much pain associated with it, that I get upset when people light a cigarette near me. This belief of mine has been created due to my own experiences with it. It has reference from other things to, but those other things wouldn't have been painful enough for me to decide never to smoke.
We make decisions based on our beliefs which are influenced by pain and pleasure. That of our own, and that of others who we have gained reference from. It could even come from an idea, something that doesn't or hasn't ever happened before, but we believe it to be true. Like envisioning something over and over until it feels so real that you can't tell the difference between the facade and the reality. The crazy thing is our mind can't tell either, like a vivid dream. The three level of beliefs are opinion, belief and conviction. For me an opinion would be that the Packers will beat the Bears this weekend. I think they match up better than the bears, but am open to others and may sway that opinion back and forth. There isn't enough reference, enough experience for me to believe that the Packers will win, just a lightly frosted idea. A belief is that the majority of people in this world are good. This is slightly higher level than an opinion, because in my life experience I have come to find that people are good, and that they mean well for themselves and others. The reference, the experience is enough there that I would not easily be swayed from my point. The conviction is the one that we associate the greatest amount of feeling towards. This is the one we are most passionate about. I will never smoke because of the horrible amount of loss and grief it has brought to my family. That is conviction. I know that I will never waiver from that belief.
It's our experiences with both good and bad, pain and pleasure that influence what we believe. What we believe is what we base our decisions on, which is why usually over a gradual amount of time, a gradual amount of experience we change out minds about things, change our decisions about things. Or we do them instantaneous because either the pain is so great or the pleasure is so great.
For example, boy breaks up with girl. Girl had higher amount of pleasure in relationship with boy, even though there were some painful experiences. Girl had believed she loved boy with all her heart. With her heart now hurt, girl still feels love, but unsure how to get past pain. Boy tries to get girl back. Girl wants to accept boy because of the pleasure she felt that had made up her belief about boy. Girl tries, but can't get past the fact that her beliefs have changed, her ideas have been stricken with pain, and so girl has new belief that if she opens her heart again, pain will surely ensue. Girl dumps boy.
We normally don't control how we feel ourselves. We allow outside influences to change our emotions, even if we have no control over them. But we have total control. It's all in perspective and just associating pleasure or a great deal of pain with things in order to take control of our beliefs and decisions. We all to often take the instant gratification pleasure which comes with long term pain, over the short term pain with long term pleasure. Like when you work out, and you feel tired, out of breath and sore. But it's only temporary and when you're done you feel better than before.
This book has helped me to realize what I believe, what I have convictions for. What I won't stand for, what I won't make excuses for. That I can change the way I feel about things, that I don't have to let my emotions work against me, I can make them work for me. Don't get me wrong, there is still tons of adversity, plenty of tough emotions to turn around, but I've always been up for a challenge. If you want something don't let yourself, your limiting thoughts get in the way of achieving it.
I believe that all will be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, well then it's not the end.
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