Little Wing

This mornings elegant breeze helped to cool the back of the neck after the end of the thirteen hours and the deflating feeling that had heated us all. I tried to enjoy the soft morning breeze, closing my eyes I found my mind walking joyfully down the boardwalk of a quiet morning on some pier of some beach. The morning sky fortuitously lifted my mood, and I breathed in the sights hoping they would continue to lighten my thoughts. The sleep lifted from the eye lids with a soft pull, and I found new strength in tender caress of this Arabian fall morn.

The water was about as warm as a half drank cup of coffee. It poured soft, but strong like the stony creek behind a house. Crisp and refreshing as a good stretch. It held the rest of the body, and stroked the bodies lost energy back in. The cold water faucet's slow drip moving more slowly this morning. It knew the unfair score of the night, and didn't want to remind you. The sun was still rising somewhere out of sight, and I took a promise that it might not give. I struggled to will the water of the shower back off, and almost failed. The last drops better than the first, it was finally off.

Contemplating the long day ahead, I knew that I had to find strength out of just crying in my coffee. Complaints will not validate the pain or the process dealt with. Last night sucked, and I'll be the first to admit it, even with Lt. Dan singing Christmas carols. We all went through it, and everyone is worse from the ware. Guard shift is always that annoying bully, but one that's certainly necessary to complete the playground. This was the one day you had wished he didn't pick on you, but you take your lickings and let the other kids run. Run buddies, chase some sleep.

The countdown doesn't seem very real, and I have trouble believing it sometimes. There is no joy or excitement. I look, and I don't see less than three weeks. I still see the sweat left to sweat, the blood left to bleed, and the tears left to shed. I try and think of the things that I miss, and few come to mind. I would have thought I would crave beer, pizza and sex. I try hard to miss them, and forward out of the memory banks come the flood of all of those. Like a image across the screen, they don't seem real anymore. The connotations seemingly gone. My guard hasn't let down, and I get frustrated. It's not the memories that remind you. It's not pictures or even video. It's the smells, the atmosphere of a place that can bring you back. Without the aura, there is no connecting to the past. The smell has to find you. The breeze has to blow a certain way. The taste has to melt in your mouth. You try and reach for it, force the feelings back. It's been to long to remember. Amazing, how soon I've forgot.

This morning at least, has helped me go home.


when I'm sad, she comes to me, with a thousand smiles she gives to me...