It's to be expected at this point, at certain levels, to be held back from potential by those above us at this point in deployment. Whether it be from some kind of ignorance or purely from selfishness from the powerful, who's only objective is greed and self proclamation. To step on the lower levels of their own kind to push themselves to the top. It's still shocking when it comes from those who are supposed to be in charge of our lives. When they put the lives of platoons on the line simply to have the ability of sleeping in their own beds. It's expected and yet still shocking. But in comparison to the unexpected, it's shock value falls short.
I had thought my platoon to be exception to the rule. That we were all in it together to do our best, and work around the adversities delivered by both friend and foe. That we would constantly promote worth and value into one another, pushing ourselves forward to be better. The events of yesterday, in such a simple manner, practically summed up the entire deployment. The one with power used it for selfishness. For their own pride, and then as if taking a lesson right from the top cut the legs out from everyone underneath them. They even claim they aren't here to make any friends, which they have positively achieved.
Part of me feels the need not to write this, because of the possible repercussions that could rain down on my head. But even if those happen, the awareness of the situation being brought to hand would better the lives of my own platoon mates, which is worth it above all else. The situation didn't endanger any one's life, or put innocence in harms way. It did however threaten the ego of someone in my direct chain of command. To protect self pride is greater than promoting the results of hard work of those around you. Apparently.
The situation as I said did not endanger any one's life. It wasn't even that serious of an event, but it did sum up this deployment fairly evenly. We do physical training as a platoon everyday practically. We push each other to do our best and the results have actually been pretty good considering we are only two months into improving ourselves. And even if not a great improvement, the soreness is some consolation. Yesterday we did the usual that we always do, PT as a platoon. Originally we had scheduled an 8 mile run. A change to the plan was made, as the day prior we had a diagnostic PT Test, where you run a two-mile. This test didn't count for anything, but was just a reminder that though we've been returning to the shape we were in cardiovascular form before deployment, we still had to make up some. The top runners, like myself finished around the max score you can have on this PT test, which is under 13 minutes for two miles. This set up for yesterdays PT, an ability group run.
An ability group run, is exactly that. A group of a certain ability, runs together at the pace of their ability. Being a sub 12 minute two mile runner that I am, compared to the number of people in the platoon, I would be the pace man for the Alpha group, the fastest runners. Having been a Cross-Country runner, I 'know' what I'm doing when it comes to setting and keeping paces. None-the-less, though I might be more competent than the man running to my left, my rank makes me less competent, no-matter-what. Our goal, our prescribed time to get on the one mile run to start things was supposed to be between 5:50 and 6:15. Piece of cake for me perhaps, but for others in the group that are here to be 'pushed' to do it in their own personal record times, this is a challenge. This is how these kind of runs help to better those that can run these speeds, but don't know how to push that kind of pace of four laps around the track. In our case, our track is three laps for one mile.
Our goal was to keep each lap right around the 2-minute mark. We did a little better, and our mile time was just under six minutes at 5:55. This is a personal best for most of the guys that completed it with the A group. We aren't done with are workout just yet. This is to be followed by a slow jogged lap, and then another lap at the same pace, sub 2 minutes, then another slow jogged lap and the last lap, another sub 2 minute one. Then we're finished. 2 1/3 miles. Our mile time was good, and we continued after our first jogged lap to do a decent lap time of just under 2 minutes.
The best way to improve your run time is by expansion of the heart. This is where you run till it's working it's hardest, where it's beating it's fastest. Then you slow it back down, and then speed it back up to it's maximum effort. The hardest you should push it is right at the end of your workout. It should be a dead sprint to the finish from a distance that is somewhat reasonable, along with a more concerted effort the entire last lap. This will make running paces you never thought you could achieve, possible. Since I was in a 5th grade, and ran my first 5k, this has been the truth that has stuck and I've proven to myself time after time. Our last lap should've been the same. At least held to the standard that we had previously set for ourselves.
When we started the last lap, I, being one of the pacemen at the front, tried to push it a little, to stretch it out some. It's our last lap, and should have our maximum effort put in to have the greatest effect on ourselves for the workout. At first I thought that the voices, the hard breathing men at my back would object to going a little faster than we had been. I'm not talking about shaving a minute off of our lap time, but closer to 10 seconds. It was accepted as I was even yelled at to go a little faster. The man to my left, perhaps having the hardest time, my fellow pace man, ordered me to stay by his side. He was breathing the hardest, wheezing actually, and barely keeping up with the pace we had been setting. It's okay to fall out of these kinds of runs. You are pushing yourself to the max, and if you can't reach that max, there is no shame in not making it this time. Around the first corner, I glance at my watch and to my dismay we are behind our schedule. I try and push it out a little bit to get at least back to our scheduled time. Our standard. The man to my left, falls back, and in between his hard breaths, the shouts of others to go faster, he orders slower. Keeping his self-pride intact. Keeping his authority shown. No longer falling out, it's his pace, not the standards.
The pressure is on me, the fastest runner to hold the pace, to try and push someone I'm a subordinate to keep the pace at what it should be for the standard. I look at my watch and see the seconds taunting me, telling me that because of one man's selfishness, to pretend he's at the front of the pack, the rest of the group is going to fail. I push ahead a little again, encouraging, looking at my watch, and giving a goal. Again, I'm yelled at, "THIS IS MY RUN, MY PACE! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" The group slows down to the pace of the selfish, the winded, the greedy. 10 seconds left, we turn the final corner, I yell off the time, our failure is approaching, and perhaps the truth hits, that one in a group can make everyone fail. I look at my watch again, passing the finish line, 2:09, 12 seconds slower than our previous. I say, good job guys, 2:01- the time we had in us. Actually I could've said 1:50 if that was the case. We didn't fail ourselves, one failed us. "Front leaning rest position, move." We are not the leaders of the show. We will not push ourselves to our maximum if it makes those above us look bad. We will risk our lives for the selfishness of others. We will not be rewarded for our hard work, but those above us will use our strengths as their own. Use their power to look good, take credit for, and keep those that strive to work hard as stepping stones. This is the truth of the deployment. The Army, allowing the stupid to rise to power. Those who are not responsible, who don't have it together, or lack common sense to lead your sons. The one saving grace, is when you do get a competent leader, who recognizes the failures of the intermediates, they can at least keep those intermediates out of the loop, but not all of the time.
It shouldn't surprise me, when individuals true colors are flown. When they hold others down to help cope with their own self confidence levels. When the power they have is threatened by those below them for being, smarter, decided and better. It's the Year of the NCO. The year that reminds us that anyone can have stripes, no matter how selfish. No matter how they can continue to break the oath that they took to be in that leadership position. My rank and below run the Army. Not because we are better, but because we are still pure. Not tainted by the power which brings greed and selfishness. "But we want time with our Joe's." It's amazing how all of a sudden good work is claimed by those higher. That they had some helping hand in the matter. In my experience in the Army, those who I have learned from have either left my platoon, left the Army, or been killed. We've been left to figure out everything for ourselves. We've done a good job of it, the lower enlisted guys. Not because we know better, but because of the lack of involvement of our highers. The first 6 months of deployment, we were never accompanied, helped out, or taught anything, other than by the Joe to our left and right. We have become self sufficient, and do a decent job at being so. At policing ourselves and making sure the right things are done. But don't let any of us take the credit, we'll pass that off to you. Good job sarge. Thanks for nothing. Thanks rewarding us by taking the claim, and stepping on us.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that this has been going on since day one, my arrival in the 'regular' army. The incompetence, the stupidity, the selfishness. It's a sickness that runs through this place, is unchecked and those who recognize it are so sickened that they can't even bring themselves to try and change things. They leave, get out, and walk away. The competent, making the smart decision, leaving. "I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS! I HAVE THE POWER TO DO THESE KINDS OF THINGS. THREE STRIPES (points fingers at self), NONE (points fingers yonder)."
Does that include stealing car seats? Are you sick yet?
I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be.-Thomas Jefferson
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