The Magical Mystery Extravagance Tour of the Galaxy to Disneyland, Iraq

I woke up this morning like I used to when I was younger. That is when I had something to do, like play golf with my dad and brother and had an early morning tee time, or maybe a special trip somewhere. I found myself tired, and had a nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach. Our mission this morning, go to America.

Its about as close as you can get to America anyways. The 'Green Zone,' downtown Baghdad, Disneyland. Every time we roll outside the gate we worry about EFP's and getting shot at. But this morning was different. As soon as we were no less than a mile away from our base, the standard of life seemed to sky rocket more and more. It still looked like a ghetto in America, but for here, not a bad place. The streets were clear of raw sewage, and nearly all trash.

Saddam's Swords

We saw many famous or infamous things on our way their. We saw the famous Saddam swords as well as the amphitheatre that looked like a woman's compact mirror. We arrived at the big Camp here after being delayed by morning rush hour.



First order of business was to hit up the PX for some much needed stuff that is impossible to get at our normal FOB. We then had the choice of eating at the regular chow hall, or Burger King, Cinnabon, Popeye's, or Taco Bell. Of course I had to get my Taco Bell on. And so I did. It was delicious, and yet disgusting. I scarfed it down, and followed it with a cinnabon classic cinnamon roll, that despite the 730 calories and 24 g of fat and a whopping 114 g of carbs, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I went into the Bazaar where Haji sells us entirely useless crap that we buy. I tried to barter down a hookah from $120 to$20, but the guy was adamant he could only drop it to $115. I eventually got him down to $112 after about ten minutes of haggling and playing the I don't even want it anymore kind of game. I decided not to purchase it, and instead spend that money on books on how to negotiate.

Amphitheatre

After that I walked back to the trucks and hung out while we waited on our headquarters guys to return from their mission on the base. The entire reason we were really there. We climbed on top of the trucks and attempted to get the best farmer tans we could. It was a really nice day, and looking around at this base you would think you could be in southern California somewhere. Maybe Lake Elsinore. Desert like, but tons of Eucalyptus trees all around. There was a cool breeze and the sun shown very brightly, as if you were almost sitting at the beach. Ryan and I talked about doing stuff at the beach and how frighteningly scary the weather was to a normal beach day in Cali.

Soon we had waited so long that it was time to go back and get some more food. The chow hall had closed and so I was forced to go eat some more fast food. I picked Burger King, despite the fact I think I still was craving Taco Bell. My friend Adam and I took our BK back to the trucks and ate and soon there after the headquarters guy had shown back up, nearly empty handed from their mission on base. We got in the truck, and I decided that my poor nutrition during the day prompted a protein shake supplement. I had to pound about 20 oz of water to be able to have the right amount of water for my shake. I crudely put my shake together with the help of Lenny our terp, and drank about half and way too fast. We started moving in the stuffy back of the 'Bus' or 'Wagon' and I immediately started feeling nauseous.

The culmination of the days events, with maybe being a little dehydrated from sitting in the sun, and the processed foods I had gorged down like a child at the fair, with the introduction to to much water fast, and a warm protein shake, and movement, I knew that regurgitation was not only necessary but about to happen. I warned the guys in the truck and grabbed at a plastic bag and quickly dumped the contents. I brought it up to my mouth just in time. Pretty gross happening followed, and nearly started a Chunk from the Goonies, movie theatre type story. Sampson and Kellogg nearly lost their lunch. We made a short halt, while Lenny secured another plastic bag in which I placed the first one in and then we made a tactical disposal of the contents, and the bags. My gift to Iraq.