Change Is Gonna Come

I don't know who you are, but you were in my dreams last night. The setting I chose to meet you in was exceptional. Crisp clear day with the sun just nestling into it's midday position. This allowed the hat you wearing to shade your face. I couldn't see your eyes through your designer glasses, even if they were knock off. Even though I had never seen you before in my life, you graciously walked up and placed an assuring hand on my shoulder. Strange you were asking for a menu from the bar I was sitting at, but it spoke in woes to me.

This sort of thing doesn't just happen everyday. I could recognize some certain something about you to find nameless in my vocabulary. I was much older in my dream, and was searching for something. Something that you brought. Warmth, comfort, compassion, smarts. It was you who settled the tremors of my soul. The conversation we carried, the obvious narrative of my subconscious, though not remembered, awoke something within. It was the conversation, the situation I did not want to awake from. Could not awake from. I had to know, had to see it your way. Needed to hear what you were going to say.

I woke up feeling free from what I've done and seen. That I could forget if I wanted to. That my problems, weren't trivial and my solutions were going to be grand. The door you cracked open for me, and the light is shining through.

The adversity has to be adversely met. Just don't wash away with the rain.

I struggle disappointing people. It's my biggest fear that I will let someone down. Let myself down really. The dream that you came to me in. I slept through my alarm. Slept through an obligation. Guilt, it's normal routine of setting in began. But the more I realize it, the more I realize you're right. I was supposed to be there with you. There with myself. Selfish and needy. This is the way I should think. That's the light through the door. To be normal is to place yourself before others. This ideology of course makes me feel sick. But when that's the way that everyone else in this world is, why not just conform?


...i think i think too much...