Platoon Boyz

If you were to video our platoon 24 hours a day, you would have the hottest reality show on tv. We function well for not being functional. Our LT went to Michigan. Enough said. Our Platoon Sgt, is hilarious and seems to only listen to Guns N' Roses. Our section leader, who grew up near me in Granada Hills, is not only named Kolt Killman, but also seems to have all twenty fingers and toes wrapped around some kind of knowledge or information about anything and everything. The Purvinator, one of our squad leaders is the hard core Ranger with a soft spot for kittens, candles, and Nelson. Our other squad leader is the heart of the platoon, who loves to spray paint things in small rooms that happen to have their door closed. Enough about our leadership.

Sgt. Maier


Kellogg
The meat and soul of the platoon is in what's commonly referred to as the Joe's. That's those of us who are under the rank of Sergeant and do all of the work in the platoon. First and foremost you have Kellogg, who we commonly refer to as, "Two Scoops," or "Lil' Grumpy." Ryan, (his real name) spent a year in Korea, which always seems to have some bearing on any subject matter. He's somewhat of a germaphobe, and you can find him dousing his hands in hand sanitizer. He's from the small town of Alameda up in the San Francisco Bay area of Cali. He's a great guy to have around despite his constant cynicism, which helped dawn his name, "Lil' Grumpy."

Michael Kerber is our lead driver. This is his second tour to Iraq, and despite his best efforts at the gym, he still appears to be a Calvin Klein model. The female ones. We refer to him as a Lizard, and our favorite thing to poke fun at him about is the fact that anything and everything digestible has an effect on him that is supernatural. He's a good guy to have around because his attitude is generally positive.

Kerber


Danny Gibbens is one of my favorite guys to have in the platoon. He used to be a very quite guy, but now it's sometimes hard to get him to shut up. He has some hilarious awkward stories. He's very smart and takes a lot in. He doesn't drink alcohol and reads the bible. He's a Nebraska Corn Huskers fan from Colorado. We often tell stories about his letter writing, "Dear Daisy," it always starts out and has the tone of how things here compare to life on the farm. Of course Daisy doesn't actually exist, and Danny only dabbled in farming. I also put him through a wall about 6 months ago, but I guess that can happen when you live and work together. No hard feelings Gibby.

Danny Boy

The final person I'll blog about today in the platoon, is James, "downtown," "dirty," "mind freak," Brown. I could go on for hours about this guy. He is the biggest character in the platoon, so I'll try and keep this short, because I'm sure I'll have plenty more to write about him. Brown is from Georgia. "Bout an hour," from where the filmed Deliverance. He has a ginormous mole that catches a lot of attention when you look at him. He's one of the dirtiest people I have ever met. Rumor has it that last deployment he was on, 15 months, he didn't shower once. He has thin hair with a receding hairline. He has more hair on his body than he does on his head. And he has a lot of hair still on his head, so you catch the drift. He seems to be attracted to pregnant women, and peaches. His facial expressions will have you rolling and grabbing your sides because they are so strange. He's the platoon dirt bag, and we love him for it. The funniest thing he has ever done, happened on my birthday. We were in the staging area ready to go on mission. He had the gunner harness on. The gunner harness has a loop that clips the gunner into the truck so that if the truck were to flip, the gunner won't be tossed from the vehicle. As Brown walked down the ramp of stairs, the loop got stuck in one of the top stairs, and not only halted his progress, but through him off balance, and he fell off of the side of the ramp. The loop caught and held, and Brown ended up suspended 4 inches off the ground like he was Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. He "levitated," there for nearly a minute, while everyone in the platoon couldn't help but laugh hysterically. We eventually helped him out of the situation, and he was unharmed. Our platoon sgt. started referring to him as "mind freak." It was one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed, and I'm sure in the next ten months I'll be able to recount other situations that Brown will find himself in, like that one.
James Brown
That's all of the platoon for now.