Lies, Truth & Fable

Lost somewhere, my finger couldn't trace the text of life I needed to read. Anxiety built it's formidable defenses, and powerlessly I searched for it's weak spot. Breathlessly, I breathe. Living and surviving not from the functions of life, but because the memory in it. I cry ruthlessly, upon questions I can't even ask, let alone answer.

It's about this time I light the candle of courage deep within, but the light isn't exuberant this time. I search for the exit that isn't death, but get caught in it's spidery maze. I keep rowing, blind as a slave. It's up and down symphony of defeat and victory all in a life lived in a glass half full feels a lie. It's ignorance is in the bliss, but they've taken my bliss away.

Success, my blood beats with it. I find it's calming, slowing effect overtake me. The question marks pile their coagulating way into stopping the pounding of my life beat, of the heart, of the passion. I look at college as a four year way of truly making up my mind. Quarter of a decade isn't the dollar promise I could've made, and there I sit, here I sit, confused and unknowing as the same 18 year old kid ready to take on the world. Thirty before it's all said and done, and it will be.

It's the second that you're playing on the playground that you have woken up and you're an adult. Life, responsibilities are laid before you. Finely they're handled at hand, but you wish they were only pushing a friend on a swing. Sometimes they are. You reflect on yourself, but on the wrong side of the mirror. That man, you're not as proud as you could be, and the only rift is in yourself. You didn't aim well enough to accomplish a hit for yourself, but others are seemingly impressed. Perhaps this is a disease. Stop fooling yourself into believing me. Stop fooling yourself to believing yourself.

Anyone will tell you anything. Lies, truth or fable. It's all a mix up, you just have to believe in yourself or believe that they believe in you. Your perception is your reality or most of it. I struggle being the man I have become, certainly only because I never expected it. I sold myself into believing a lie long enough that that repetition, contrary to Roosevelt's belief, came true. I am who I've become, not who I was.

...no but we were meant to believe they did...