Tell it to me Slowly

Somewhere, out of nothing, comes everything. The rush, the feelings criss-crossing beams of emotions like lights moving in the midst of a roistered fireworks night. The rock falls to the pit of my stomach like, and I'm enthralled, perpetuated by hope and visions of futures seemingly concrete in their determination. The muscles pull tight with the excitement my breathing produces. Idly, impatiently and boldly I sit in my own created suspense. Powerfully I create through an immense imagination an impossible scenario of happiness that only a self full-filling proficiency could produce. My life continually changes, and the confusion becomes greater and lesser with it's own dancing of somber life lessons learned and forgotten. I'm a conundrum of myself, hypocritical to no end and know end.

There's much to do, and little time to do it. The time flies. The flies bite. August, my favorite month and my last hoorah. It's my Mohican's last ascent, my game 7, the bottom of the 9th. The all-in of a lifetime lived in nearly six years. I'll have nothing to regret, nothing left to prove. Lived more than most ever will, and willed more than most ever live. It's the pain and agony that's never to be lived by most. The simple life, a lot simpler. The way things were, were never meant to be for most, and foremost the way things should be. The sheep, the flock protected. The ignorance. The bliss. Life as uncomplicated as you can make it, or complicated as you can.

Clarity becomes clearer, despite the constant growth. The leaves of my life provide the shade of understanding. That understanding ultimately blocks the light of the coming sun, and you realize the plant has to die, birth new leaves, new beginnings, new understandings. The same is different, but mostly the same. I'm the birth of a star, the generation of excitement. The world is my pawn and I it's chessboard or the exact opposite. It's perspective with retro but mostly intro and we realize we are small, but huge in everything or every way that we may or may not be. Vastly our horizons stretch, and we're wired, addicted to the game that we call life. We don't comprehend most of what we do, or why, how we do it, but the promise I make is to do it to the best of my ability or at least the best I think I know how. Often, the drop of reality stings like the dumping of ice water, shocking and shivering the soul. It's refreshing.

The promises to keep in this life are to yourself, and those who you love.


Angry Bear would say of that, "Deployment Weird"