Sunday Perspective

I like Sunday mornings better than Sunday afternoons. There is something refreshing about those Sunday mornings. It's a daisy, but quicker to wilt. That afternoon sunlight, it brings the poor connotations. An in between of my two favorite times.

I've been going through some changes, and perspective is the hardest. I've always been positive, and with so much always happening in my life, sometimes I have to wait till it's over to give a pat on the back and feel the pride of accomplishment when all is said and done. I focus too much on the moment and sometimes to much on the future. That balance isn't as blind as justice and sometimes I wish it were.

I'd never felt some emotions. That's changing rapidly and I try and count it as learning. I haven't been working hard enough in to many locations in my life. For a chronic self-proclaimed self-improver this leaves a dirty taste in my mouth. It took awhile, but I've sucked the blood up from the proverbial cut on the lip and the tears have dried on the cheeks. I'm ready to live, and not for the wrong reasons, but all the right ones.

I miss the west coast, but not necessarily home. I know it would be a year and a half away but I'm not ready to move back home. My dreams always change, but stay the same. I know I want to see more of the world, but I'm undecided on which part to see. It's all perspective. It would be easier if we could just think it and it would change. Could change. I feel I'm wanted, just not always from who I want that emote to come from.

I look forward to the fall. It's not the spring but it's still a new beginning. The leaves changing are inspiring. The end of a cycle, the end of a phase, the death of what was. It's grief for loss, but excitement of new. It's all life. Circular. The passing of my Uncle was the toughest thing that has ever happened to me. I can take plenty from his life. Work hard to be as giving, as caring as he was. Impact others lives as he impacted mine. All for the best.

That's the falling of leaves. Changing and dying. Falling to the ground, but enriching the soil. Bringing the right minerals for the new life of the ground. The cold always passes over, and the new always takes something from the old. It's for the better, and sadly through the worst. It's perspective. It's taking the good from things. Taking the best of those you've loved and lost and letting them live through your actions. Create their immortality. Pass on their impact on you to the world.

Sunday afternoons are now red. Far from green, but still beautiful. They have promise of the morning and the history of the past. The time moves on, and I take all I can from it. Look forward towards tomorrow and everything Sunday afternoon has imparted on me.

I live for me, with them in mind, and your beauty in my heart.