Now, It Don't Really Matter

The more I learn, the less I know. These past few weeks have challenged me to a point that's enjoyable. I realized what I've been missing in my life; challenge. My work is easy, and sometimes all to mundane. Only physically challenging, but not mentally stimulating. Given a job now with more responsibility and the use of critical thinking and or problem solving on a level where the final decision is mine has made me realize that power is empowering, and I see how the weak who gain it become obsessed with it.

My leadership has grown over the past few weeks as well, and I'm a little surprised with how I've been received. Regardless of the positive feedback, I refuse to rest on my laurels. It's the first weekend in a long time that I needed to take a break, not go out and forget about the stupidity of work, but actually just take a mental checkout of everything. Fold laundry, and wax the floors. My brain needed the break, not the booze or bars to check in to.

My biggest concern with investing so much time into my work, and caring to go above and beyond the normal standard, is that I lose touch with my emotions, and connection with others. My personal relationships subsequently falter and sometimes fail. Balancing the two is vital to having a good life, but perhaps by whatever balance act I can think of, I need to work harder at my feelings and relationships, instead of less hard at my job. It's a weird concept, but a possible cop-out to say that I work to hard at work and that is the reason why I fail at the other stuff in my life.

I find myself too often trapped as a member of our society, and have to remind myself that I don't have to follow societies norms. Those are just reasons, limiting factors within our own minds that stops us from being successful. I've become better at not making excuses, but it's been a tough bad habit to break. I'm on a constant quest for self improvement and success. The most challenging aspect of improving oneself is when you get blocked by an obstacle, and instead of realizing that there are other ways around or over it, you simply use it as an excuse to fail. Our minds will fight with us when it comes to working hard or giving up, and usually by our nature we just want to take the easier road. The path of least residence is sometimes the right one, but not when that path leads away from your goals. I've learned, thanks mostly to the Army, that there are sometimes you can't let those obstacles beat you. You have to put your head down and charge through them. This quality in life is mostly learned, and certainly any extremely successful person knows how to do this.


It's just a flesh wound