Tonight is yet going to be another test of nerves. One more night to assume force protection of our beloved Combat Out Post 763. Last time we did force pro it ended up being a two day event for us. Up in the observation posts you can, at the latest of night and earliest of morning, hear the creepiest of sounds that test even the most daring of sorts in the respects of paranormal. The footsteps that scrape across the dirt covered concrete, or the scratching noises that tend to surround your every side. Pretty scary stuff for some. I however have not been as scared as I would have thought, or even wanted to be. I used to get scared over such kinds of things, but lately I have not. It's disconcerting because I tend to enjoy that racing of fear that crawls from the depths up your stomach and through your spine to the back of the neck. The mystery is very fun and daring.
Although this is a very fun and exciting topic to write about, I can't help but express the concerns that have been running through my head.
Over the past few weeks, especially since my return from duty after such a lovely few weeks of leave, something has come apparent to me. I need to write a book about my experience. Not just the experience here in Iraq, but my Army experience as a whole. I don't think it has anything to do with wanting to make a name for myself, or anything of that nature. I really want to open peoples eyes to our military and the poor direction that it's been heading in, and where it stands now. This organization is failing and is in need of a radical alteration to set itself back on course to being the supreme military it once was. I'm not sure America is ready to learn about these things, because I know the overall stance in view that America has about our military.
A concerning thought that runs through my head, is that America has been the major cause of turning our military into what it has become. An institute that cannot act without immediate and overwhelming criticism from vessels like the media and other large special interest groups. Everything the military does is put under a microscope, and has been done so much that there is no action that we can take in the Army now that we cannot do without filling out some kind risk assessment sheet or sign a counseling statement. The softness that I see America becoming has infiltrated into the military, and mostly in the short time that I have been here.
The fleeting disgusting feeling I have realized cannot be summed up in an online open forum like blogging. It needs to be a researched, documented, here's all the facts and not in just some kind of writing aberration. Not only does the public need to know about the poor direction that we are heading in, but also the ideals from past to present and how they have changed. How military leaders are so willing to put American lives in peril due to small political games and public outcry. Because let us face it, the general public, even the political ambassadors in Washington, know absolutely nothing about the way the military should operate. And though this is the nature of the military to protect the outcome politics, to enforce policy, it's not the nature of politics to control the tactics of war.
Public outcry for a now very unpopular war has not been the only staple of our failure here since I've deployed. OIF 08-09 has been a failure for a multiple of reasons. For one, American lives have been lost. The amount of bad people we have been sent here to capture, or kill remains almost untouched or even strengthened. The laziness of a higher, burned out, chain of command as been frustrating to many who have served under it. The Iraqi people, the good people, still have fear and violence constantly surrounding them. When we leave, good families will be slaughtered by those who are supposed to protect them. And though we even know where bad people live, when the idea is brought up to go after mass murders, who have killed not only people of their own country for religious differences or what have you, but also Americans the ideas are completely dismissed, as fear settles into an idea that we would only be stirring up a hornets nest. The only understanding of the laziness of those who can make the decisions to kill these evil people, is that this is their 3rd of 4th deployment. They are burned out and just want to go home and spend time with their families. They send us out everyday passively, hoping that we are not blown to smithereens, and even if we are, that perhaps it will only be a few American losses before it is time to go home. They don't allow us to do our job, to go after those who we know are bad. Those we know want to inflict harm on us. We are not on the offensive, we are not even on the defensive. July 1st approaches, and perhaps this era of the war will be known as the Dark Ages.
We wouldn't want to stir up a hornets nest, would we?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
I'm Fat
I weigh 283 lbs. My M4 only weighs a hair under 7 lbs. I only weigh a little above 180, so where does the other 90 come from? Wherever it comes from, despite being in tennis shoes, and shorts,I felt 280 today while playing Jason today in Basketball, in the JunkHouse Gym we have downstairs. I took a nice elbow in the face trying to protect his 11-4 lead as he made his way up for a lay up. Another one. All and all I can say that I'm glad I officially retired from Basketball at the age of 13. Otherwise I could've been heartbroken.
Our living conditions continue to be absolutely amazing. We haven't lost power in two days, and it was nearly 80 degrees in our room last night. We've gotten our two meals a day, luckily. Yesterday we even got a day off during the worst dust storm of the year. Of course other than my sore jaw, I can't really complain.
The fourth floor during force pro on the early and late shift, is still quite haunting. Of course there are those in the platoon who think nothing of it, and then there are those who are absolutely terrified if you put any thought of ghosts into their head. My buddy Donovan, the youngest man in the platoon is particulary scared while on guard. It doesn't help that everyone messes with him while he's on guard. Tonight wasn't to bad of a case, but he has been spooked many times before.
The guard posts you sit in are much like a reinforced shack built on the roof. They have sandbags and other things that fortify it from the obvious dangers of doing this kind of job. They also have camoflouged netting that protects you from silhouetting yourself. This netting while a huge advantaged to concealment, is also a disadvantage for your average ghost enthusiast. Especially when certain individuals climb on top of the observation point and make 'scratching' noises, while moving the screens when there is no apparent wind. You also have to factor in the fact that you've been by yourself in an extremely dark area for anywhere from two to six hours. That really helps the mind to wander.
The two weeks back have really flown by so far, which I hope is an indicator of how the next 6 months will go. In a place like this, the time can't fly fast enough. It's once again a late night in Eastern Baghdad. COP 763, "The Sauna Hallway" is always buzzing. Either with ghosts a haunting, or platoons patrolling, the days are weeks, and the weeks are just hours.
Only The Nose Knows
Our living conditions continue to be absolutely amazing. We haven't lost power in two days, and it was nearly 80 degrees in our room last night. We've gotten our two meals a day, luckily. Yesterday we even got a day off during the worst dust storm of the year. Of course other than my sore jaw, I can't really complain.
The fourth floor during force pro on the early and late shift, is still quite haunting. Of course there are those in the platoon who think nothing of it, and then there are those who are absolutely terrified if you put any thought of ghosts into their head. My buddy Donovan, the youngest man in the platoon is particulary scared while on guard. It doesn't help that everyone messes with him while he's on guard. Tonight wasn't to bad of a case, but he has been spooked many times before.
The guard posts you sit in are much like a reinforced shack built on the roof. They have sandbags and other things that fortify it from the obvious dangers of doing this kind of job. They also have camoflouged netting that protects you from silhouetting yourself. This netting while a huge advantaged to concealment, is also a disadvantage for your average ghost enthusiast. Especially when certain individuals climb on top of the observation point and make 'scratching' noises, while moving the screens when there is no apparent wind. You also have to factor in the fact that you've been by yourself in an extremely dark area for anywhere from two to six hours. That really helps the mind to wander.
The two weeks back have really flown by so far, which I hope is an indicator of how the next 6 months will go. In a place like this, the time can't fly fast enough. It's once again a late night in Eastern Baghdad. COP 763, "The Sauna Hallway" is always buzzing. Either with ghosts a haunting, or platoons patrolling, the days are weeks, and the weeks are just hours.
Only The Nose Knows
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Broken AC, A War Unseen, and Winning Dodgers
My title alone should tell you this blog entry is going to be a little spaced out. I will try my best to be accurate and quick to the point, for the computer room is 120 degrees right now.
That's really not that big of a change from anything else. Outside it's 110, and yesterday in our trucks for the 14 hours we were in them, it was about the same. Our trucks air conditioners, all of them, decided to take a break. It was not very pleasant way to be welcomed back to the platoon. Usually you get back in the truck and find nirvana. However I couldn't wait to get out of the truck.
As it heats up here, the war slows down. Says CNN. The war that is not seen is a sad one. I hope one day the American public will see what's still going on. But government, media, world wants to tell you it's over. That's why they label the war as having 'phases.' But it doesn't really. The same guys that were trying to blow us up in '04 are still trying to blow us up in '09. The only thing that has changed it our strategy at going after such villains.
In the beginning of the war, we had all the power. We were an invading force sent here to stop terrorism, opression, tyranny, and any other cliche-ish slogan for democracy you could slap on. Was it right? It doesn't matter if was right, because we found ourselves in a situation. We ended the war quickly. But it wasn't over. We just went into 'phase 2' which was acting like a global police force. Then the counter insurgency and the 'surge.' All excellent ways to make the American public believe that we really were winning the WAR.
What'd they forget? Us. My Brigade in the time we've been here, has lost several courageous soldiers. My brothers in arms. What have we done, for justice? As much as we can do for justice. Under Iraqi juristicion that is. An American dies, and us, the Army, the Infantry can't even detain individuals who are suspected of murdering comrades. The Iraqi courts might put them away, and they are back on the streets in 6 months or less, depending on the amount of corruption that runs rampid in every Security Force unit. If we were the FBI, or even the US Marshalls, we could arrest anyone here suspected of killing an American. So why are the rules different for us? We're over here. I've realised after coming back from leave, and maybe clearing my head a little while I was home, how little the American public knows about the hardships that we, the one's who are actually here go through. The Army has trained us to be attack dogs. And attack dogs we are. Vicious, scary fucking attack dogs. Guys who deployed before got let off their leashes entirely and were able to perform their job, allowed to exact justice upon enemies. Why did we get the shock collar? Why do we have to conform under the "laws of the host nation."? I thought we invaded this country...
But there are two deployments in Iraq. Next time you shake the hand of a servicemember, I want you to take a second and question if they really deployed to the war in Iraq, or if they just deployed to Iraq. Being in the green zone is not being at war. It's America. It really is truly. Sadly. Currently at my base we are nearly out of food/water. Sleep at 4 hours a night is a premium. Yet meanwhile there are people having fun, eating Subway, and Taco Bell, and heading over to the massage parlor after catching the afternoon show of Stephen Colbert visit. They don't do work, they don't even stay in shape. They're to far away from any real danger to have to wear protective equipment. They live a life like they would back home. But they get paid the same that I do. 225 extra a month for hazardous duty. What hazards? They don't get mortared, blown up or shot at, or even pull protection for the base. They eat, sleep, rinse, wash, repeat.
No one cares here, not for us. Not for the guys doing the menial tasks of dealing with corrupt idiotic Iraqi Police. They take their side over ours. That's why there's going to be two generations of soldiers returning from this war. The pre January 2009 guys, and the post, us. Those guys before could do something. Their hands weren't tied. Their chain of commands gave a shit. They were dogs not on leashes, who got their pent up aggression out. Our chain of command now, they're just here to be politicians, and progress in their career. They'd rather see their own killed, then do anything that could end up on CNN, anything that would break Iraqi law. And we're stuck, frustrated, pissed off, and weary.
What do I have to look forward to? Well, the Dodgers have the best record baseball.
6 more months and I'll be through...
That's really not that big of a change from anything else. Outside it's 110, and yesterday in our trucks for the 14 hours we were in them, it was about the same. Our trucks air conditioners, all of them, decided to take a break. It was not very pleasant way to be welcomed back to the platoon. Usually you get back in the truck and find nirvana. However I couldn't wait to get out of the truck.
As it heats up here, the war slows down. Says CNN. The war that is not seen is a sad one. I hope one day the American public will see what's still going on. But government, media, world wants to tell you it's over. That's why they label the war as having 'phases.' But it doesn't really. The same guys that were trying to blow us up in '04 are still trying to blow us up in '09. The only thing that has changed it our strategy at going after such villains.
In the beginning of the war, we had all the power. We were an invading force sent here to stop terrorism, opression, tyranny, and any other cliche-ish slogan for democracy you could slap on. Was it right? It doesn't matter if was right, because we found ourselves in a situation. We ended the war quickly. But it wasn't over. We just went into 'phase 2' which was acting like a global police force. Then the counter insurgency and the 'surge.' All excellent ways to make the American public believe that we really were winning the WAR.
What'd they forget? Us. My Brigade in the time we've been here, has lost several courageous soldiers. My brothers in arms. What have we done, for justice? As much as we can do for justice. Under Iraqi juristicion that is. An American dies, and us, the Army, the Infantry can't even detain individuals who are suspected of murdering comrades. The Iraqi courts might put them away, and they are back on the streets in 6 months or less, depending on the amount of corruption that runs rampid in every Security Force unit. If we were the FBI, or even the US Marshalls, we could arrest anyone here suspected of killing an American. So why are the rules different for us? We're over here. I've realised after coming back from leave, and maybe clearing my head a little while I was home, how little the American public knows about the hardships that we, the one's who are actually here go through. The Army has trained us to be attack dogs. And attack dogs we are. Vicious, scary fucking attack dogs. Guys who deployed before got let off their leashes entirely and were able to perform their job, allowed to exact justice upon enemies. Why did we get the shock collar? Why do we have to conform under the "laws of the host nation."? I thought we invaded this country...
But there are two deployments in Iraq. Next time you shake the hand of a servicemember, I want you to take a second and question if they really deployed to the war in Iraq, or if they just deployed to Iraq. Being in the green zone is not being at war. It's America. It really is truly. Sadly. Currently at my base we are nearly out of food/water. Sleep at 4 hours a night is a premium. Yet meanwhile there are people having fun, eating Subway, and Taco Bell, and heading over to the massage parlor after catching the afternoon show of Stephen Colbert visit. They don't do work, they don't even stay in shape. They're to far away from any real danger to have to wear protective equipment. They live a life like they would back home. But they get paid the same that I do. 225 extra a month for hazardous duty. What hazards? They don't get mortared, blown up or shot at, or even pull protection for the base. They eat, sleep, rinse, wash, repeat.
No one cares here, not for us. Not for the guys doing the menial tasks of dealing with corrupt idiotic Iraqi Police. They take their side over ours. That's why there's going to be two generations of soldiers returning from this war. The pre January 2009 guys, and the post, us. Those guys before could do something. Their hands weren't tied. Their chain of commands gave a shit. They were dogs not on leashes, who got their pent up aggression out. Our chain of command now, they're just here to be politicians, and progress in their career. They'd rather see their own killed, then do anything that could end up on CNN, anything that would break Iraqi law. And we're stuck, frustrated, pissed off, and weary.
What do I have to look forward to? Well, the Dodgers have the best record baseball.
6 more months and I'll be through...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Leave Adornare
As I sit here back in Baghdad, I have really nothing better to do than reminisce about the previous two weeks of my life, and how truly wonderful they were. Although it's an historic date in the dates of the military, (D-Day), and though I am on the edge of my seat as I await the return to my platoon, I find it hard for my mind not to wander off into some kind of dream land where I think about the events and people who made my two weeks of vacation simply marvelous.
Originally I was supposed to be in on the Saturday of my sister's graduation. Unfortunately I was postponed until the Monday after, a full two days. It was of most certain sadness that not only did it mean that I missed my sisters graduation, but I also had two days that I could've been spending time with my girlfriend, who flew all the way from North Carolina, taken away from me. We tried to get over it in fashion, by staying in the beautiful Madonna Inn, where not only was it the first night of my leave that we could celebrate, it was also some compilation to our one year anniversary that I had narrowly missed by a week and a few days.
The room there was simply breath taking, and the pool was simply amazing. After a night and half a day there we slowly moved down the coast and back towards my home in the Valley. A couple of stops, and a flat of strawberries later, we arrived home where I was greeted by my most loving family. The days spent there were pretty good. Despite Gina going to see Conan O'brien without me, I enjoyed an afternoon with my little-big cousin and my Dad in seeing Terminator Salvation.
Sushi eating early in the week seemed to spark my interest, and so by the end of the week my Mom, Dad, girlfriend, best friend, and myself found ourselves on my Dad's boat out at Castaic Lake. My sister was supposed to have been down to join us, but she's a lamo sometimes, and decided to protest the war, and not shave her armpits. Only joking of course, but it would've been nicer if she was with us.
A couple of Dodger games, and a night at Howl concluded the week, and Monday morning I had to drop Gina off at the airport. It was another hard goodbye for our relationship, but it was an amazing week spent with her.
I spent the next week doing almost whatever spurred the moment, and had me running around with my head cut off. I helped paint the new house, and caught up with friends. Unfortunately I didn't get to see all of the ones I had wanted to see, but there is more time for them to come in December.
A lot had changed at home, which was almost overwhelming at first. There was an entirely new building on my property, and tons of people who work there everyday. My great grandpa's truck had been dismantled, and fortunately by the end of leave, was finally taken in to get painted.
Playing golf was such an escape while I was there. First playing with my Dad, bro and Adam, was a lot of fun. Then with my Dad and two Uncles was a really fun day. I've been very lucky, that everytime I've come home, I'm reminded so much of how much my family cares about each other. I really am very lucky to be in a family so close.
Of course the weeks went by way too fast. My brother was off at the academy, but found time to be able to take me to Dane Cook. It was a fun night. Eric, my best friend was able to accompany us, and we had a stellar time at the Yard House in the ever changing downtown LA. Of course drinks with Adam and Charlie late nights at the Sugar Suite, or the Norwood were always quite candid and fun. SI! Check one, SI!
But alas, I'm back to reality in the beautiful and glorious Baghdad. With less than 180 days to freedom, I can't help but have some excitement brewing in my mind, that I will soon be back with the ones I love.
Luxury, is always and option.
Originally I was supposed to be in on the Saturday of my sister's graduation. Unfortunately I was postponed until the Monday after, a full two days. It was of most certain sadness that not only did it mean that I missed my sisters graduation, but I also had two days that I could've been spending time with my girlfriend, who flew all the way from North Carolina, taken away from me. We tried to get over it in fashion, by staying in the beautiful Madonna Inn, where not only was it the first night of my leave that we could celebrate, it was also some compilation to our one year anniversary that I had narrowly missed by a week and a few days.
The room there was simply breath taking, and the pool was simply amazing. After a night and half a day there we slowly moved down the coast and back towards my home in the Valley. A couple of stops, and a flat of strawberries later, we arrived home where I was greeted by my most loving family. The days spent there were pretty good. Despite Gina going to see Conan O'brien without me, I enjoyed an afternoon with my little-big cousin and my Dad in seeing Terminator Salvation.
Sushi eating early in the week seemed to spark my interest, and so by the end of the week my Mom, Dad, girlfriend, best friend, and myself found ourselves on my Dad's boat out at Castaic Lake. My sister was supposed to have been down to join us, but she's a lamo sometimes, and decided to protest the war, and not shave her armpits. Only joking of course, but it would've been nicer if she was with us.
A couple of Dodger games, and a night at Howl concluded the week, and Monday morning I had to drop Gina off at the airport. It was another hard goodbye for our relationship, but it was an amazing week spent with her.
I spent the next week doing almost whatever spurred the moment, and had me running around with my head cut off. I helped paint the new house, and caught up with friends. Unfortunately I didn't get to see all of the ones I had wanted to see, but there is more time for them to come in December.
A lot had changed at home, which was almost overwhelming at first. There was an entirely new building on my property, and tons of people who work there everyday. My great grandpa's truck had been dismantled, and fortunately by the end of leave, was finally taken in to get painted.
Playing golf was such an escape while I was there. First playing with my Dad, bro and Adam, was a lot of fun. Then with my Dad and two Uncles was a really fun day. I've been very lucky, that everytime I've come home, I'm reminded so much of how much my family cares about each other. I really am very lucky to be in a family so close.
Of course the weeks went by way too fast. My brother was off at the academy, but found time to be able to take me to Dane Cook. It was a fun night. Eric, my best friend was able to accompany us, and we had a stellar time at the Yard House in the ever changing downtown LA. Of course drinks with Adam and Charlie late nights at the Sugar Suite, or the Norwood were always quite candid and fun. SI! Check one, SI!
But alas, I'm back to reality in the beautiful and glorious Baghdad. With less than 180 days to freedom, I can't help but have some excitement brewing in my mind, that I will soon be back with the ones I love.
Luxury, is always and option.
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