And the Crowd Goes, Meh

Everyone looks forward to returning to the United States. Especially from a place like this. We sit on verge of redeploying, and though excitement courses through my veins, and the small man in my bread dances with excitement, I have doubt of what's to come.

Today, it was brought to my attention that the people in charge of us would continue to decimate what is known as the Army. Normally, I would bite my tongue on such matters, but seeing how I'm already illegally trapped in Afghanistan past the Army Regulations that are chosen to be obeyed or disavowed at a premium of a higher ranking officials leisure, I have quite a leg to stand on. The disturbing fact of the matter is that your sons, the one's who are supposed to be made men from the Army, much as I myself have become, are not being allowed that opportunity.

This might be difficult to understand. In the civilian world, you go to work and your boss doesn't have to know anything about your personal life. You're late to work once and it's a warning or leniency perhaps, but a chronic problem and you're fired. There are consequences for your negative actions at work. But end of the day on Friday and into the weekend, you're off on your own. If you do 8balls of coke off strippers all weekend, but still show up to work and do your job; you're still going to have a job. In the military though, obviously this is 1)illegal, and 2) we have become so devoted to mitigating any kind of risk that our Soldiers have to give us their weekend plan, and be within an arms reach of their phones at all times. At first, this was a ridiculous idea to me. We are all 18 years or older. Men, or at least trying to become men. There is a certain amount of mistakes you are going to make during these years of being free from the folks. You learn from them though.

This recent development in the world of where I work is disturbing, if not sickening, if not damn near diabolical. It is a contract, for every weekend, that you must outline exactly what it is you are doing. Your free-time, the little of it that the Army doesn't own you for, they now will own you. This is certainly not Army wide, or even to the next level of Brigade. But as I mentioned, you must sign a contract explaining exactly what you are going to slave-ily do over your weekend. If plans change, you have to re-work your contract and sign a new one. If you get arrested, or a speeding ticket, or a jay-walking ticket, or even are reported being in a place that you did not outline on your contract, you are subject to persecution at the digression of the unit. Sick to my stomach for the poor boys, and the poor leaders whose lives are literally going to be managed at a level only known to that of 15 year old's at boarding school; I thank every bone in my body that I'm leaving the unit, already somewhat betrayed by it, and leaving the Army.

When are we going to stop this madness? We are going to try and control guys' lives, expecting that that 18 year old isn't going to do whatever it is he wants anyways? Why not try and help him become a man, have is back when he gets in trouble, arrested, or in a fight. Instead we weaken an already weakening Army in a weakening country, simply because we have our careers to worry about, and our own asses to cover. Fuck this place, I'm out.


the shackles are tight, the truth is raw, the pain is resounding

Dusty Brain

The delegation continues in my head with no recess in sight. I'm stuck, perplexed. It's been a tough time away from family and 'home' over the past five years. I guess the hardest part in that is how far I've grown apart from who I used to be, and how people knew me, or how I knew them. My brother is getting married very shortly, and I being the best man of course have to make a speech.

This is difficult. For one, that growing apart and the lack of daily interaction certainly doesn't leave this as easy as my orating skills normally would find it. To my knowledge, there is no etiquette to making a best man speech. It's more than a toast, formal and informal in the same. The other side of this coin, is that I have not attended very many weddings. This is based on the fact that the family I know that has gotten married, I have been off at the great wars or training. And because I don't have many friends who have been married or invited me to wedding. Tear, tear for me.

I've sat, going over story after story. There's a lot to miss in five years time. I think back to when my brother and his fiance met, and though I remember plenty of different times, I don't remember any stories brightly enough to relay in such a manner that would be what I seek; funny and heart warming. During those times I was too young to really remember anything. I have a hard time remembering my favorite teachers names from high school, let alone small details of things that were happening between the two of them.

The common cure for such writers block is a glass of scotch. Currently, an unavailable offer. Looks like I have to figure this one out, down on the upside.

Knowing myself, and pressure... I'm sure to knock this one out of the park.


turning back on me, every thing's easy

The Last Remaining Light

Just fucking give up America. If it's appeasement you want, then surrender all your goddamn American blood sweat and tears Freedoms you so preciously hold onto. Get fucking real! There was a time that people didn't take swipes at America. That killing an American hurt to the very soul of each and everyone of us, so much so that we could turn on the news and watch live as cruise missiles would strike the palaces of foreigners who committed such atrocities to the point they would go silent with truce and fear of us for years.

We act all innocent as Americans, that we have to be so politically correct and apologize for our own behavior. This nation was built on murder. Don't forget that. Whether you called it manifest destiny or Hiroshima, we have always carried a bigger stick and not been afraid to use it when we've had to. We sit idly by as country after country, nation after nation take their swipes at us. And what do we do about it? Nothing! We sit idly by waiting for the election of our next President, most likely the same one who's too chicken shit to do anything about innocent Americans dying at the hands of mad men in countries that most of the ignoramus American hasn't even heard of.

I get it, you don't support the wars but you support the troops. Well right now you ain't supporting anything except the end of Freedom as we know it. It's a precious thing that nearly everyone takes for granted. The same as our education system which has gone to shambles because of lack of knowing any different, so to will the rights and freedoms that you only can half imagine even one being lost. News to those stuck in the world of non-reality, your life could be very different, very quickly. You are not in a bubble that's all so protected.

It's started, and if it's not stopped, where will it end? Imagine not worrying about making it to your 7 am Yoga class, or blowing on your too hot coffee from Starbucks. There is a serious threat rising, on top of the unforeseen that you don't pay attention to anyways. Imagine worrying about clean water or food for the family. And not your local grocery store going on strike.

If we do nothing, if we do not act now. We will lose everything we have ever fought to gain. Our unshakable worlds, will be shattered.


when they come, will we be ready?